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Myths, lies & stereotypes |
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Behind the prevalence of myths about sexual assault in our communities lies the reasons why many sexual assaults go unreported and why the legal system still fails to convict many offenders. Like fairytales, tall tales and untruths, myths are false. Myth #1. Women enjoy it No woman enjoys being violently assaulted. Sexual assault is humiliating, degrading and disempowers women. Myth# 2. Women say no but they really mean yes No means "no". Women say what they mean. Myth# 3. Women ask for it because of what they wear or how they look No person has the right to violently assault another person, regardless of their appearance. Women should be safe to wear what they choose. Sexual assault is a planned violent attack, what a woman wears is of no importance. No woman asks to be sexually assaulted. Myth # 4. Men can't control their urges and can't help it Sexual assault is not about sex, it is a crime of power and violence. Men who commit sexual assault know what they are doing, they can control their decisions. No man has the right to sexually assault any person. Myth# 5. She didn't fight it, so she must have wanted it Sexual assault is a violent, terrifying experience for any woman. Most often woman are too terrified of more violence that they are numbed by the experience, unable to react. Myth# 6. Only young women are raped Woman of all ages from babies to the elderly are sexually assaulted. Women between the ages of 15 and 19 years of age, in Australia, have the highest incident rate of sexual assault. Myth # 7. Rape only happens in dark places at night Statistics show that most offenders are known to victims. Sexual assault more than often occurs in the home. Myth # 8. Only sex starved maniacs are offenders of sexual assault Sexual assault is not about sex, it is an act of violence, it is about power and not about sex. Sexual assault is a criminal offence. Myth # 9. Women lead men on No woman asks to be sexually assaulted. Myth # 10. Women enjoy being sexually assaulted No woman wants to be violently assaulted. Myth # 11. Women always over exaggerate things Rapists lie. Sex offenders lie. Perpetrators and offenders lie. Myth # 12. A husband can't sexually assault his wife Sexual assault is a crime, whether you are married or not. Sex without consent is a crime. No-one has the moral or legal right to force you to have sex. Myth # 13. If women don't want to be sexually assaulted they can stop it at any time Every person experiences trauma differently. You may experience a fight, flight or freeze response. Victims of sexual assault can experience fear, isolation and terror. Victims may fear for their life, they may be threatened by offenders. Sex without consent is a crime. Myth #14. It will never happen to women like me. Sexual assault can happen to any women. Women are sexually assaulted of all ages, race, class, religion, ability and/or culture. Feminism has argued that these myths are not only voiced by individual men, they are also central to male thinking in general, including members of the police force, the judicial system and the media. The prevalence of these myths is one reason why reporting rape or sexual assault to the police and going through the courts can be such an unpleasant experience for women. Fact: Most women are too afraid to struggle because of threats of violence if they make a sound. Fact: Rape is never pleasurable for any woman. Fact: Research shows that in the majority of cases the rapist is known to the woman. He may be a Friend, a Workmate, Relative or Husband. About 50% of rapes occur in the home of the woman or attacker. Fact: Rape is not about sex, it is about POWER and VIOLENCE. The vast majority of rapes are carefully planned. Fact: No women ever deserves to be raped, abused or assaulted, no matter what the circumstances, most rapes are planned. What a woman is wearing makes no difference. Fact: Sexual assault and rape are not just sex. They involve the total humiliation of a woman. They involve taking control of her body against her will. They involve taking all dignity and self assurance away from a woman, and reducing her to an object of sexual abuse. It is violence when someone forces a woman to engage in sexual acts against her will. It is humiliation. It is degradation. During interviewing rapists say that rape is more about power and violence than about sex. Fact: No, sexual assaults against children are very common, of the estimated 60,000 sexual assault crimes in NSW alone, around 11,000 are reported each year. The suggestion that this is not happening is sheer ignorance. The frightening reality is it is more common than the media portrays. Fact: The common image of a paedophile is an ugly old man in dirty clothes, who lingers around playgrounds and school gates. The truth is most offenders are known to the victim, either a family member or family friend. Men make up to 95% of offenders, sexual assault offenders can be anyone from the community. Fact: It is estimated a child can attempt to tell of their abuse over 20 times before being heard. Being believed is the greatest fear of victims of sexual assault, many offenders will tell children no-one will believe them. Sexual assault is a crime, abuse of a child is a crime. Listen. Families Fact: Sexual assault happens within all social groups. Offenders are from areas of the community, in positions of trust and authority. All children are potentially at risk, regardless of their socio-economic status. Myth #9: If the child had wanted it to stop they would have said so Fact: Child sexual assault is a crime. In Australia a child must be 16 years of age to be able to legally consent to sex with a person of the same age or older. Offenders threaten, intimidate and violate a child's right to safety and their childhood. Offenders use their authority and power as an adult to sexually assault children. Children have a human right to feel safe in their homes and their community. Sexual assault against any person is a crime. Sex with a person under the age of 16yrs in Australia is a crime. |
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"We need to teach the next generation of children from day one that they are responsible for their lives. Mankind's greatest gift, also its greatest curse, is that we have free choice. We can make our choices built from love or from fear."
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