Family & friends

Recommended reading;

 

 Surviving Rape

A handbook about sexual violence for survivors, family, friends and workers 4th Edition, NSW Rape Crisis Centre, ISBN 0 947205 82 9Breaking the Silence

 

Survivors of child abuse speak out

Edited by Liz Mullinar & Candida Hunt, ISBN 0 7336 0483 8

 

 More than Conquerors

A guid to recovery and healing for survivors of sexual abuse & rape

Author; Sandy G. Sasser

Publish America Baltimore

ISBN: 1-4137-5783-9

 

Survivors of child abuse speak out

Edited by Liz Mullinar & Candida Hunt, ISBN 0 7336 0483 8

Breaking Free

an anthology from the NSW Rape Crisis Centre

Edited by Beatriz Copello & Robyn Ianssen, ISBN 0 9579697 3 2

What you say and do, how you choose to react both immediately and following an act of violence on a loved one, will greatly impact on their self-esteem and recovery process.

Victims & survivors need to be listened to, need to be heard and must be believed.

You may not realise how many myths and stereotypes have been imbedded in your mind until you are confronted with an horrific trauma where your reactions may be without thought and feeling.  Through educating ourselves about the impact of sexual assault on victims and survivors we can provide supportive relationships and safe environments for our loved ones to move forward.

The most important fact you must remember is the VICTIM is NEVER, EVER at FAULT.  In Australia sexual assault is a crime. 

As a family member &/or friend, by acknowledging and accepting the victim/survivors feelings and experiences as real and concrete, you are taking the first step towards supporting them.

Some of these may include;

feelings of guilt, suicidal thoughts, low self-esteem, use of alcohol/drugs to shut out feelings/thoughts, sudden decision to move house, leave employment/study, lack of sleep, nightmares, restlessness, feeling dirty, embarrassed, lack of appetite, emotional eating/over-eating, numbness, shock, anxiety, depression, denial, not wanting to be touched, forgetfulness, anger, fear, tension, headaches, muscle aches, grief, fear of aloneness, feeling lost, confusion, disorientation, poor attention span.

Whilst you may feel compelled to offer advice, as a loving friend/family member this will be a difficult time for everyone concerned for the wellbeing of the victim.  Even if you have experienced a similar trauma yourself, the best support you can provide is by being there, listening (without speaking), acknowledging the victims feelings as real, staying at their side through the ordeal of counselling, the police investigation, court case and recovery.  Sexual assault disempowers victims, it takes away their power to make choices.  By giving back this ability to take control of the decision making process, you are already assisting them during their healing process.

Seek professional help!

There are a number of support services listed on the 'Help & Support' page.  You can also seek help by contacting your local community health, hospital and/or police.

There are a number of good resources available through your local library and sexual assault services.  Take time to educate yourself about not only the crime of sexual assault, the myths and stereotypes.